Uh oh -- now you've done it. You just stumbled onto my private notes on all the cool stylistic life advice I get from the Harmenzooni Ojoon, that major mystical force in the universe that you've never heard of.

It's better that you've never heard of him -- the Harmenzooni Ojoon is jealous of his celestial wisdom, quick to punish intruders in his mystical domain, and quite frankly a prickly pain in the ass much of the time. (The stories I could tell you about the bad business deals I've tried to talk him out of -- but noooo! -- he's a major mystical force in the universe, and who am I, mere mortal that I am, to give the Harmenzooni Ojoon business advice? And then, of course.... Well, I could tell you those stories, but then he'd probably smite me like some Biblical bug, irritable and self-important as he is -- but you didn't here that from me!.)

Anyhoo, until you're found out and consumed by flames, you might as well explore these notes and links on life and style and lifestyles that I've culled from my many psychic conversations with the Ojoon. Say what you want about his stuffiness, his self-importance, and his peculiarly pompous pompadour (but don't stand too close to me when you say it) -- the Harmenzooni Ojoon has impeccable taste, and I'll cop to it straight: I was damn lucky to have met him during an otherwise unrewarding vacation of sorts at that state-run mental health thingy. We've talked ever since about life and love and chicks and style and the proper way to bust a move, so much so that I decided to write it all down before I forget everything (which actually happened once, I'm told). I'll be updating these pages from time to time with new notes and links, as more is revealed to me; but here's what I can remember for now.

So enjoy them while you can -- soon you'll be found out and destroyed.